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Endings…

Posted on Friday, October 21st, 2011 at 2:48 pm

It has been over a month, but I still hesitate every time we put Cora to bed.

Our nursing time ended rather abruptly in September. Cora was bored and impatient during her bedtime feeding and began to play around and, well, bite. This would happen on occasion, but she did it repeatedly that night. Brad does not usually hang around during those times, but he was with us that evening. After witnessing the conflict, he decided that that would be the end of things. Putting a screaming Cora in bed and ushering a teary mama out of the room, he brought our nursing season to an end just like that.

It has been a little freeing, a little sad, and a little bit of an adjustment. It still feels like something is missing in her going-to-bed routine. I suppose that is natural since we did it for fifteen months and have only changed our habit for the last one.

Soon, Lord willing, I will be back at the routine of nursing, back to the around the clock hours, and the quiet, sleepy bonding moments. I am thankful for what has been and for what is to come.

Table Talk

Posted on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011 at 5:10 am

Several months ago, I think around when we started introducing solids, we let Cora chew on a lime wedge while out at a restaurant. It didn’t phase her at all, and giving her a lemon slice a couple of weeks later had the same effect! On Brad’s birthday we were out for Mexican food and she tried some more lime. This time she scrunched her face up a couple of times, but it didn’t keep her from trying it again!

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Cora has steadily been eating more grown up food during her meals. Some of the latest favorites have included mandarin oranges, string cheese, homemade baked beans (almost any bean, really), cubed cheese, graham crackers, potato salad, shredded cheese, cauliflower salad, cheese, meatballs, scrambled egg (with cheese), strawberries, steamed broccoli, frozen blueberries, and ice cream! We pretty much have to avoid eating ice cream when she is awake or else it is miserable for everyone.

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On occasion, she likes to pretend she is applying makeup. I let her know that it will be years before she gets the real thing. She does rock the single green eyebrow though, doesn’t she? (You can click on the photo to enlarge in case you want to copy her application style.)

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Cora’s go-to snack is an unsalted top saltine cracker. If she even sees the box or a sleeve of crackers in the cabinet, she dives for them! Also, at 69 cents a box, this makes mommy super happy that she doesn’t have to pay $3 for a 4 oz tub of baby puffs.

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Sometimes, when we have some time to kill I dump out a couple kinds of baby food on Cora’s tray to play in. She usually tries to eat a little and then decides she would rather just live it up and play with her food. It’s sort of like the arts and crafts period of our day. As you can see, she kinda likes it. (Also – teeth!!)

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Recently, Cora started showing interest in our utensils. And by “showing interest” I mean that when we would share a little bite from our plate with her, she would grasp the fork or spoon with a death grip and shriek in protest if we happened to succeed at prying her vice-like grip from it. In a moment of inspiration by common sense, I realized maybe she should try out some utensils of her own. She seemed especially interested in the fork, so I went to buy a baby-sized one. At the inaugural use of the fork, she happily took it and let me guide the prongs to the piece of food on her tray. After carefully piercing the food bit, she raised the fork up, turning it to her mouth…and then reached up with her other hand to pluck the food off the fork so she could place it in her mouth! I died laughing. She now occasionally feels ambitious enough to take a bite off the fork, sometimes she resorts to the stab-and-pluck routine, and other times she just decides to go at it with just the fingers. Funny girl!

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Sometimes when her parents forget to feed her, she just resorts to whatever nature has to offer. In this case, dandelion fluff. :)

So this is what it is like to be a mother on Mother’s Day.

Posted on Sunday, May 8th, 2011 at 7:30 am

It is an incredible privilege to rock her to sleep. Sometimes I forget that. But it is. It’s MY incredible privilege.

She made me a mother. By the grace of God, it was her life that gave me a new one. A new place, a new perspective, a new kind of sanctification. And I still do not fully understand this new life. (Neither hers nor mine.) There will be years – Lord willing – to learn more, but I think I will never fully grasp this role of a mother. I think it will always require learning more, waiting, hurting, and accepting, yet again, another failure and another lesson. Isn’t it funny how a tiny person can make you feel more inadequate than ever?

I am so grateful to be stretched in these ways. For so long I waited and wanted. And now she is here; this life is here. Now is the time to embrace it, to embrace her and the obstacles, joys, beauties, challenges and graces she brings to me. Oh, how blessed am I!

Pictures from the day I met the girl who made me a mama.