Our nursing time ended rather abruptly in September. Cora was bored and impatient during her bedtime feeding and began to play around and, well, bite. This would happen on occasion, but she did it repeatedly that night. Brad does not usually hang around during those times, but he was with us that evening. After witnessing the conflict, he decided that that would be the end of things. Putting a screaming Cora in bed and ushering a teary mama out of the room, he brought our nursing season to an end just like that.

It has been a little freeing, a little sad, and a little bit of an adjustment. It still feels like something is missing in her going-to-bed routine. I suppose that is natural since we did it for fifteen months and have only changed our habit for the last one.

Soon, Lord willing, I will be back at the routine of nursing, back to the around the clock hours, and the quiet, sleepy bonding moments. I am thankful for what has been and for what is to come.

***

Cora has steadily been eating more grown up food during her meals. Some of the latest favorites have included mandarin oranges, string cheese, homemade baked beans (almost any bean, really), cubed cheese, graham crackers, potato salad, shredded cheese, cauliflower salad, cheese, meatballs, scrambled egg (with cheese), strawberries, steamed broccoli, frozen blueberries, and ice cream! We pretty much have to avoid eating ice cream when she is awake or else it is miserable for everyone.

***

On occasion, she likes to pretend she is applying makeup. I let her know that it will be years before she gets the real thing. She does rock the single green eyebrow though, doesn’t she? (You can click on the photo to enlarge in case you want to copy her application style.)

***

Cora’s go-to snack is an unsalted top saltine cracker. If she even sees the box or a sleeve of crackers in the cabinet, she dives for them! Also, at 69 cents a box, this makes mommy super happy that she doesn’t have to pay $3 for a 4 oz tub of baby puffs.

***

Sometimes, when we have some time to kill I dump out a couple kinds of baby food on Cora’s tray to play in. She usually tries to eat a little and then decides she would rather just live it up and play with her food. It’s sort of like the arts and crafts period of our day. As you can see, she kinda likes it. (Also – teeth!!)

***

Recently, Cora started showing interest in our utensils. And by “showing interest” I mean that when we would share a little bite from our plate with her, she would grasp the fork or spoon with a death grip and shriek in protest if we happened to succeed at prying her vice-like grip from it. In a moment of inspiration by common sense, I realized maybe she should try out some utensils of her own. She seemed especially interested in the fork, so I went to buy a baby-sized one. At the inaugural use of the fork, she happily took it and let me guide the prongs to the piece of food on her tray. After carefully piercing the food bit, she raised the fork up, turning it to her mouth…and then reached up with her other hand to pluck the food off the fork so she could place it in her mouth! I died laughing. She now occasionally feels ambitious enough to take a bite off the fork, sometimes she resorts to the stab-and-pluck routine, and other times she just decides to go at it with just the fingers. Funny girl!

***

Sometimes when her parents forget to feed her, she just resorts to whatever nature has to offer. In this case, dandelion fluff.

She made me a mother. By the grace of God, it was her life that gave me a new one. A new place, a new perspective, a new kind of sanctification. And I still do not fully understand this new life. (Neither hers nor mine.) There will be years – Lord willing – to learn more, but I think I will never fully grasp this role of a mother. I think it will always require learning more, waiting, hurting, and accepting, yet again, another failure and another lesson. Isn’t it funny how a tiny person can make you feel more inadequate than ever?

I am so grateful to be stretched in these ways. For so long I waited and wanted. And now she is here; this life is here. Now is the time to embrace it, to embrace her and the obstacles, joys, beauties, challenges and graces she brings to me. Oh, how blessed am I!

Pictures from the day I met the girl who made me a mama.

I know it won’t always be this way, but her “saying” no is pretty cute right now. A couple of recent anecdotes:

- I was watching/listening to a sermon online when she woke up from her nap one afternoon. As I was finishing it up, she was playing along side me. We got to a part where the pastor was making a point by saying a statement, and them emphatically shouting “No!” Then he would make another statement, and another “No!” When he was doing this for the third time, I looked at Cora and realized that she was firmly shaking her head along with each “no!” It cracked me up!

- While we have tried to childproof most of the house (or have just surrendered parts of it over to Cora), there are still a handful of places that we have to watch out for and keep her from. One of those is the dogs food and water bowl. While I know it likely would not be a big danger if she got into the bowls, still…gross. In spite of (or perhaps because of?) our frequent interventions to keep her from the bowls, she doggedly (ha!) goes after them on a daily basis. One day, I found myself repeatedly chasing her down, picking her up as she got in reach of the bowls, and firmly telling her “no” before setting her back down by her toys. After five or six times of this, I looked down to see her headed back to the bowls again – only this time she was shaking her head to tell herself “No” on the way over! Unfortunately, I still had to intervene, but maybe one day her she will be able to self-correct, instead of just self-reprimand!

The idea of saying “No” as a parent feels like a big deal. I don’t think that knowing when and when not to say “no” is going to come naturally. We want Cora to grow up feeling loved in every way. We want her to be loved in our allowances and in what we forbid. I know there are many more Nos to come, and that they may include meltdowns, tears, and embarrassing public appearances. And Cora might have some issues with it to! We will cross all those bridges when we get to them, however and trust that the Holy Spirit will teach us how to teach!

And, because pictures make a post way more interesting…

This girl is so often on the move, that following photo probably shows the side of her I see the most often!

Playing outside at GlaMo’s house!

(zoo trip, 4/3/11)
The other day we were at Aldis (a grocery store) and were making our way down the aisle. I looked down at her sitting in the cart and realized she was leaning completely over to one side, just beaming at something. I followed her line of sight and realized she was grinning (and waving and “talking”) to an older couple two aisles over. They were enjoying it and waved back, which of course thrilled her even more. If she just gets one person to respond to or interact with her, all of the sudden she thinks she is all that! She will start looking around at everyone in sight, waving at them or smiling at them to try and get their attention. Sometimes she will blow raspberries at people to try and get them to laugh at her. Interacting with others is the highlight of her life!

(zoo trip, 4/3/11)
I love that she is such a cheerful and friendly baby. She certainly seems like an extrovert, and it makes me curious to see if that is something that sticks!

9 month pictures

Never mind that we hadn’t checked her temperature all day. Neither had we tried any investigative methods to figure out the reason for the fussiness earlier in the day. But once we felt teeth, we promptly started handing out meds like candy.

After one minute, two minutes maximum, the excitement had died down. That’s when I started crying. I felt like I did not know this little one in my arms. I don’t have a daughter with teeth, so who is this?! Obviously, she is still Cora, still my daughter and still the same tousled-haired baby I took out of the crib this morning. But she is also changing, and sometimes, like today’s sudden discovery of two emerging teeth, I don’t even realize it. Unlike the first bike ride without training wheels or the walk across the stage at graduation, some of the moments of change will come unheralded. I will wake up, look at her and wonder. I think that is the best part of parenting. The Wonder.

Cora woke up little while ago, possibly disrupted by the teething pains. Brad held her for a while, but he said she kept looking around, looking for me. She loves her daddy (She tracked him down all day long while he was working from home, no matter what distractions I threw out there.) but in that moment she wanted me. I was happy to oblige, because I needed her for a little while. We cuddled, I rocked, she nuzzled. I slipped her pacifier out and rubbed her bottom gums. I needed to get acquainted with these new parts. I needed to get re-acquainted to my baby, the one who will now chew differently, nurse differently, smile differently. As she continues to grow, I am excited to learn more about my daughter in every new phase and to guide her through each new part.

As we got closer to the “major” road, I got a little nervous about crossing. There was no crosswalk. (Does that make me a jaywalker?) I decided to continue on the side of the road (no sidewalks, boo) until I felt like there was a decent break in traffic to make my crossing the safest possible. As I was walking between cross streets I saw the perfect space open up. I rushed to the road ahead and then (not so) calmly sprinted across the road. I felt pretty good about it until I looked down and realized that Cora was no longer holding her sippy cup. I started having flashbacks to our family Valentine’s evening (a story for another time) and desperately scanned over the street I had just crossed. Fortunately it was not in the middle of the big road, but it was at the front of the cross street, just waiting for some unsuspecting mini van to crush it to bits. I said a couple PG words and waited for another pause in traffic. As I spotted the perfect moment to cross, Cora’s hat blew off and flopped around behind us a few feet away. I panicked, but managed to snatch it up before it went too far, and then hurried across and grabbed the sippy cup. Darn sippy cup.

At this point, I was considering going back home. But what would all this pain and misery be for if I did not press onward? It would be for naught. So we crossed one more time to get where we needed to be. The rest of the trip was through some mostly peaceful neighborhood roads, save a large (fenced-in) German shepherd and a noisy Latino group tearing up part of the road. During this part of the trip I noticed that Cora’s feet were exposed and getting a lot of sun. I realized on the trip back the sun would shine even more directly on them. After insulting myself for not thinking of putting socks on her little feet, I tried to come up with a solution. I had no extra material of any kind to use to cover and protect her! I finally decided I would solve the problem once we finished our shopping trip. After making our purchase, I took the food out of the plastic bag and put it in the basket under the stroller. Then Cora’s feet went inside the Wal-Mart sack, with the top part of the bag tucked under her little bottom so it would not blow away! I’m sure we looked a little funny, but it made my mommy-heart worry a little less.

Oh – and on the way home, we crossed the “major” road without a hitch.

*Forty-five minute naps for Cora. Only twice a day. Not cool.

*A beautiful entertainment center (still to be painted)!

*Speed. Army-crawling, booty-wiggling, floor-wiping speed.

*Cherry chocolate cake balls. Amazing.

*Finger foods. Cheerios, peas, mum mums (also known at our house as “surfboards” and yum yums) and flavored baby puffs.

*The waltz, salsa, and swing dance. Brad had a date last night with four ladies, ranging in ages 7 months to twenty-six years, and we learned some fabulous moves.

Not new, but our favorite, trademark Cora smile:

This morning as I was feeding Cora in bed, she touched my face with her soft hands and I returned the caresses, tracing along her cheek and chin. Some days just have those moments. They are moments that happen every day, but they somehow seem unique. I hold them, breath them in for a minute, and remember that now will only happen this one time.

Cora also got her first tiny taste of ice cream at Natalie’s 4th birthday party. At Granny’s birthday party she seemed to really enjoy playing with her cousin Davina. New Years Eve night at the Hess’ was a little rough getting her to bed, but she caught up on sleep eventually.

What a blessing! There’s nothing like it for me at the moment. I absolutely love spending time at home playing with Cora. These have been a really rich 6 months of parenthood and 6 years of marriage

I’m in love.